The Journey Begins

In September of last year, I found a job in Sanford, NC with a room for me and a stall and turnout for my horse. My dog Tutti was welcome as well. I was thrilled, because I'd be there from mid December until the first of May, missing, hopefully all the bad winter weather where we live. All the plans centered around this job.

The day after the election, the lady called and said the farm owners said they did not want her hiring any new people and possibly that she would have to lay off some of the present staff. I was very disappointed, but beyond the disappointment of not being near Southern Pines, NC, my sister and my boys being able to visit, I knew this was now not the time for looking for a new job and a place for Harry, Tutti, and me.

With my usual naivete, I started searching the jobs listings for grooms, stall cleaners, instructors, anything in the central NC area. This quickly became the SouthEastern US, and with just a few openings, I found a job in Virginia. I called to make an appointment for both jobs, one outside of DC - this would be colder, but closer to friends and family since I had owned a farm in MD for 12 years. I also found a job prospect in SE VA. I called this one and after spending time playing who do you know, and what training have you had, and what do you think about this or that re: dressage, she admitted my expertise would be better suited to help a friend of hers who had a rather large farm and needed help.

The marathon trip from Western NY to SE VA by way of DC and back was about 15 hours. Admittedly, I tried desperately to be fully aware and ask the right questions for each of the jobs. Ah, the best laid plans..................

I arrived at my first interview 5 min. early, found no one about, and spent about 10 minutes just looking at the facility. It was, to say the least, extravagant and over the top, although isolated. The young woman who ran the facility - her parents had spared no expense - was in a permanent tizzy. She ran through all the breeding of all the dispondent horses standing with their tails to the door, and ears pinned, over dressed in the heaviest of blankets. When asked to see the hay and feed rooms, it was apparent that she not only had no idea where the hay came from, she cared not about the quality of it, or the feed, which was improperly stored on the floor in bags. The job would be 7 days a week starting at 6am and ending at the nighttime check at 10 pm. I would have a few hours off in the afternoon...................I would be grooming, tacking up, bathing, cleaning stalls, feeding, turning out and bringing in, and any other job(s) she could think of for me to do all for the priveledge of being there and $200 a month pocket money. I could not think of a single reason for wanting to take this on, so amidst her scampering into the office and returning with a needle to Ace a horse who had arrived from Florida after a 12 hour drive just a mere 6 hours earlier. She had to start his 'training' she announced, and that, dear friends was the end of that interview.

The second job was about 4 hours south and I arrived around 4pm. The owner greeted me and ran me around, and I was trying to remember to take notes, but it was getting dark. She could provide me a room in the basement, and my horse a stall with shavings and hay. I did not get to see much as all the horses were spread out all over the farm and my job would be 4 hours - 5-6 days a week in the morning. That would give me time to work on my businesses, websites, and have a life. I was admittedly tired, and overwhelmed from the journey, but figured that even after another week of diligent searching, couldn't find anything else.


I tried for 3 weeks to pack, but the storms had started, the winds whipped up, the ice came and went with the snow, making it practically impossible to pack the trailer and close up the house. During this time, Harry was recovering from an adverse reaction to blood root for a sarcoid on his neck. The treatment cleared up the sarcoid, but he was in so much pain, that he threw me up against the stall door once, bruising my chest and knocking the wind out of me, and then a day later when I went to put on his halter in the field, I found myself on the ground counting blades of grass. He had flung his head and threw me on the ground. The guy that was there taking the last of the second story of the old barn down, reckoned I'd been out for a few minutes. It took me almost 3 weeks to be able to approach him without him backing up and being suspicious of my motives. I was only feeding him and turning him out. We quickly reached a silent trust with each other so that he knew when it was time to go out, what I expected of him, and it was almost a week before I could even get near him to change his blanket. I spent 4 days making all of his clothing open fronted, so that nothing whatsoever would be going over his head. I had to change a doz blankets. Turns out this was a pretty good thing.

Finally the day arrived when I could get the rest of the trailer packed, get my hay in the back, all my tools (it was about 30 degrees but no wind), and throw in my tools, machines, and get the house closed up the pipes drained and leave. I had 3 false starts and finally left around 8am on Sunday morning. After white knuckling the drive out of the farm, and down to the interstate (a trip of about 13 miles that took almost an hour), we were fine until we crossed the border into PA. From the truckstop it was another 3 hours trying not to tip over on the mountain roads as they had made the four lane highway 2 lanes with big Jersey barriers on either side, straight down the mountain. The previous day they had an 11 truck pile up from the ice and snow. Oh yea-glad I've driven this route for most of my life in my KW with a 48 ft. trailer, this is really nothing, but I am now responsible for my horse and my dog and myself instead of a load of produce or meat. Once I got past Williamsport, I was fine, but realized that this was going to put me at our first stop after dark. I arrived at the barn where I was staying the night in MD, but could not see the driveway, and ended up turning one driveway too soon, and was in a corn field turning around. I settled Harry in for the night, was picked up by my friend Joannie, and we went to dinner.
Joanie working on Harry-

Monday morning we returned early to the barn, and Joannie gave Harry one of her energizing treatments, and we were on our way South again. I was so looking forward to this job. I had the best feeling but then I'm kind of a glass is half full kind of person, and always try to see the best, or make the best of any situation. I arrived at the new place at 3pm, there was no one about. This was only the second time I had seen the place, and had no idea where to turn Harry out. I quickly cleaned out a paddock and turned him out and fixed his stall, glad that I had brought shavings. The sawdust pile was uncovered and soaking wet. There was no way I was going to put Harry in a stall with wet sawdust. I also had brought 15 bales of hay to transition him to the hay here, but the hay here was so toxic and dusty it wasn't fit even for cows! I went into the apartment around 5pm to make Harry's dinner, and was shocked to see a small bar sink on the floor, and no fridge to store my perishables in. It was also extremely sour and moldy smelling and damp. Finally the owner showed up and did take me out for dinner, which I appreciated. Of course the two Margarita's she had should have been a red flag, but I was here now, had no where else to go, and would have to make the best of it. After all I wasn't in NY battling the storms, and it was only until May.

I must say here, that I do my utmost to give people many chances, making excuses for them, trying to put myself in their shoes, yada yada yada. Well, I think at this stage in my life, I need to learn not only to consider myself and my animals, and make sure that we will be safe and healthy.

The age old GUILT phenomenon driven into my brain as a child never fails to come to the fore when dealing with these tough issues or situations. I'm getting much better at pushing it aside where it belongs, looking at life more in the way of my dear friend and coach Valerie Knight, who continuously reminds me that " ...it's not likely to alter the fate of nations..." (relative to something Harry and I are just not able to 'get' yet).

I don't want to appear ungrateful, you know, or unappreciative to my present situation, but it has been so overwhelming on so many levels, I've learn to stop sputtering inside about it, and keep up an endless giggle here and there.

I am not on any medications, I don't use drugs or anything to dull reality. I say, Bring it On!, I can deal, well, most of the time, but this situation kept engulfing me, sending wave after huge wave over me and on more than one occasion I was ready to pack up and leave. Of course, not being able to go North to home-the farm is totally closed down and with the snow and ice there, unavailable for habitation until oooooooohhh about April 15th. The mud season. Haha. Faced with the prospect of finding a job in So. Pines, when everything now has been spoken for, having no place to put Harry, myself and Tutti, was disconcerting, but in the 'fullness of time' as Valerie often says, these things will work themselves out.

It's a good thing I have friends like Joannie and Valerie who remind me of the larger picture (sometimes hard to do when you are in the midst of it) as many times during these first week I alternated between wanting to run into traffic, and setting my hair on fire. It's more in the visual than the actual folks.